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[Three days after they return from the mission—three days since Wei Wuxian had slept for more than a handful of restless hours at a time—he abandons his room in the middle of the night, worn down from trying to sleep while his thoughts threaten to drag him under and consume him.

He doesn't know where he's going because he doesn't have anywhere to go. It’s closer to early morning than late night, but the station is quiet. He passes one or two people and they don’t pay him any mind, all of them ghosting along the silent halls.

For some reason he ends up in the kitchen. He’s probably hungry, or he should be anyway, but he hasn’t had much of an appetite these days. Still he shuffles through one of the pantries until he happens upon a candied sweet from Gwen’s world. It was one of the few sweets from her world that both he and Itachi enjoyed, and even after Gwen had returned home, he’d continued to ask Viveca to supply it.

His fingers brush over the brightly colored branding of the box and his eyes blur.

For a moment he remains standing with the box in his hand, but eventually he crouches and sets the box down, bringing both hands up to try to stymie the flow of tears that he doesn’t seem able to stop. He should get up and move or at least put the box back, but all Wei Wuxian can do is crouch there and sob quietly into his hands.]

[Yuri is up early. She hadn't slept well (maybe hadn't slept at all), tossing and turning all night, and now she's given up on sleep entirely.

She's not usually an overthinker, but sometimes... well, sometimes the cure for a bad night of sleep is to get up early and drink a first cup of coffee before she works out.]

[Except today it's 3am and there's someone crying on the kitchen floor.]

Do you need help? [She asks gently, crouching beside him, just out of arms reach.]

[He hadn't even heard her coming, and the urge to wipe his eyes and force a laugh so that he can scramble away comes and goes, and he's still crouched there on the floor. He does shake his head and try to slow his breathing, enough at least to eventually manage a few shaky words.]

I...I'm. [Fine. The word won't leave his throat. He's not fine. Nothing is fine. He doesn't have the will power to pull himself together to save face in front of this perfect stranger.]

I don't know what to do. [He admits, exhausted.] My friend, [he starts, and it's such a stupidly small word for what Itachi was to him. What he is.] he's gone.

[He's gone, the stranger says, and Yuri's heart breaks a little bit.]

I'll make you some tea. Do you want to talk about him?

[He forces a deep breath and wipes at his face one more time, rising from his crouch so that she isn't force to do the same.]

I'm sorry. [He manages, slightly more composed than before. His eyes are still red rimmed and bright, but he's in better control now at least than he was a moment ago. It's instinct the way he starts to wave away her offer, but after a moment he nods.]

Tea would be nice. Thank you. [He hasn't made up his mind yet on whether he wants to talk yet or not.]

Go sit, and I'll get the tea ready. [She stands, and goes to start the kettle.]

Do you like black tea, or green tea?

Green. Please. [It's an easier question to focus on than anything else in his head, and he goes to sit as directed, aimlessly watching her go through the motions of making tea. She makes it, he notes, the right way. It's strangely comforting. Or maybe that's just her presence.]

I'm sorry I don't. I don't remember. Have we met?

I don't think so. [She says, as she finishes making the tea.]

I'm Egin Yuri, this mission was my first.

[He blinks at that, a fuzzy memory tugging at his thoughts.]

Demons. You summon demons. [Another pause and then] Wei Wuxian. [They have met, but he's never seen her face. Her first name and her features are familiar to him as something close to Japanese but he isn't sure of her last name.]

Is it...Miss Yuri then? [What was it Chuuta had said? Only his friends called him by his first name like that.

The memory of another friend come and gone aches and he quickly pushes the thought aside.] Miss Egin?

Oh! [She had been subdued, making an attempt to match his quiet, but at the reintroduction she brightens.] It's so nice to meet you in person!

Please call me Yuri, all my friends do. What should I call you?

[There is an echo of a smile on his lips, there and gone, but it's something. The distraction is helping. Her kindness is helping.]

Wei Wuxian. You're very kind Yuri. [He says and means it, wiping at his face again and letting his eyes fall to the table top.] I'm sorry for how you found me. It's...[He starts and stops, inhaling deeply and exhaling slowly.]

I've been on board for a while. My friend was...we met on my first day here. I'm not...it's been hard. He was dear to me.

I'm sorry. It's always so hard to lose someone you care for. [It's strange, she realizes suddenly, to be the one that other people have lost. To say what she wishes she could say to them, the people she cares about who have to continue without her.

She smiles at him. Carefully rests one of her hands on one of his.]

It sounds like you're very fortunate to have known him. And I'm sure he felt the same about you.

Edited 2023-10-07 14:59 (UTC)

It shouldn't be. [He admits quietly and then shakes his head.]

What I mean is, we always knew this would happen. In his world, he'd already died. [For that matter—] So have I. We always knew that if one of us left, it was goodbye for real. [It isn't the sort of thing he usually admits to others casually. Not because it's a secret, but because he is always worried about how they'll take it, what kind of burden it might lay on them. But he isn't thinking about that now and it comes out.]

I knew it would happen one day. I knew and somehow it still....[He trails off and sighs, shaking his head.]

Dying with regrets seems pretty popular. [She says, with a little bit of amusement. And with that kind of finality in the way he talks about it, "I regret dying" isn't quite as popular a sentiment.]

But that doesn't stop you, or me, or him, or any of us from being alive while we're here. It doesn't stop us from caring.

[Or me she says, and it should make him even sadder but instead it makes him look at her with a warmth that had been absent before. There's a connection in it, an understanding.]

It doesn't. And it's a gift, isn't it? My time, and yours. And the time I had with him. I know it is, it always has been. [He isn't angry about the loss, he has always been so grateful. It's just that it hurts so damn much.]

We knew. Both of us knew. He accepted it. [And it helps a little, knowing that Itachi was ready. Still is eyes grow hot again and he reaches up to wipe them away.]

It's just I'm tired of this feeling. I'm tired of losing the people I love.

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